Wednesday, December 31, 2008

i had a dream about sofi last night. its been so long since that happened. so, so long. i thought they were done. i had forgotten about her for a while...well anyway, the same dream that i always used to have, but better. we put everything behind us, and things were how they used to be. a fresh start. she missed me. i wish that were real. she was the best friend id ever had.

i miss my old life

i miss her

Monday, December 29, 2008

i suck.

this puppy does not.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

go see yes man

i made a post from my phone on the metro but for some reason it didnt not sure why, something about the amount of characters. im home now though, so here we are. i felt sick/naseous on the way back home from yuts, i feel a little better now, enough to take my brother and sister to the movies, but im still not feeling A+ or anything. when i got home i made myself food and watched family guy, then took a bath which turned into a shower.

i like making plans; the science museum, lion country safari, the seaquarium, an opera. it makes it feel real, it makes me feel good. it feels so fucking good having someone other than my mom care about me (although im greatful for that as well). i mean really care, push me to do things that matter but that i dont care enough about to actually fix them, do them. work, school, money, friends. thank you for caring. thank you for loving me, even with your black heart.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

so i opened up presents from my uncle last night (hes from out of town and came down for an xmas visit)
i got a wireless keyboard + mouse, which at first i was like k wut but its actually awesome, i love how it feels typing on it. except i still have my old keyboard and mouse here so im like trying to push it away and its annoying as shit. obviously.
he also got me one of those new ipods in green:) i feel kind of bad since yut gave me his ipod, which was such a sweet thing to do, but whatever, i hope he doesnt feel bad idk haha. i shouldnt even be thinking about this, who cares? djkhg
uhhhhhhhhh yeah i got an early present from my mom too, which was my phone that stopped working TWICE. hopefully it doesnt stop again.


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

so uh a lot of the stuff i wanted from UO is either not in stock or back ordered. some things came back in stock, but when theyre backordered...isnt that final? sighhhhhhh. i dont think my mom bought me aany of the stuff i wanted! (minus drawn to life: spongebob edition which IM REALLY EXCITED FOR and possibly film) im sad. i mean i know i should be greatful than im getting anything at all, but i cant help but be selfish.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

lolllllllllll told you i was gonna get 'em:)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

i left my wallet in denises car last night so now i have no money. well i do have 3 dollars, two of which ill use to take the train somewhere. except it would be nice if ihad FOUR dollars, so i could go somewhere and be able to get back home, or to denise so she can pick me up. maybe i can find four quarters? good news is i have a bunch of pot, so that will keep me occupied until i get to go home.

Monday, December 15, 2008

ugh ok so i hate making these but my mom said if i dont tell her things i want i dont get anything D: lol

man, these things add up.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


me and yut were talking on the phone a bit earlier, he was in a bad mood, not really for any reason in particular but everything irritated him, which i can understand because ive had those days, but it still made me sad because he has anger issues in general and he feels like hes turning into his dad. idk he didnt say "i love you" even after i said it plus pointed it out he didnt say it before, but he then texted me "sorry im just in a horrible mood since i lost my wallet. you know i love you. ill work on my anger issues:(" how can he not be genuine? i dont know, i mean..are there good guys? its so strange because he says he is kind of emotionless, and cold hearted, but then he says things like that and when he wipes away my tears and kisses my cheeks i mean. man, how fucked up would it be if he was a ~playa. hahahaha just kidding. who the fuck even reads this.
i bought these silly things:

(stole these)

much needed makeup bag

and then shoes and a big cardigan dress from UO and....kdjhg something else but idr what!

Monday, December 8, 2008

yut found my twitter and questioned me about it. hope he doesnt find this, hahahaha. although i can make my fucking twitter private, and with this i cant! fuck my life. i guess no personal things in here. i dont know.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

about to leave for my birthday lunch with the family.

its so fucking hot in my house.

Friday, December 5, 2008

even though this isnt locked and anyone could stumble upon it, it feels safe. i wish it really was. thoughts get me in trouble it seems.
anyways last night was brilliant. we went to scotts house where garth and mike (and obviously scott) were. i hadnt seen garth in a while, he cut his hair, weird. also mike took out his braids, its a poofy afro, ahah. we spent a little time there, i ate some tacos and we watched tv, then me and yut went to his house so he could give me my bday present (well, part of it. my real present was the necklace) and we were supposed to just go and come back, but we decided to stay there (naturally). we spent the rest of our time together (about..3 hours?) until i had to leave just in his room cuddling or having sexy time~ jdkhf im so happy with him, so so happy. i feel like maybe im breaking down that wall he seems to have, and really gaining his love. he actually said he liked me enough to move in with me, hahaha. hes crazy.

btw, the present was wall-e, because i had been telling him how i had heard it was amazing but had never watched it and was dying to. whenever he comes over next were going to watch it with my fam. so yes, that will be cute.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

so after work instead of going to school i am going to take the train to see yut. i have to take the metro rail, then wait for the train which is a 2 hour ride. i honestly dont know if i mind. i dont know if ill have enough time to catch the train, and that scares me. i get out at 5, and the train leaves at 5:57. i know that seems like enough time but i also have to wait for the metro and those times are never certain (hm maybe i should look it up) and the train station is like 20 stops away or something ridiculous like that. the first time i took the train up i did indeed miss it, and it sucked. obviously.
i talk to this guy every tues. and thurs. at school and today when i was sleeping in between school and work i had a dream we kissed! it was so weird.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

oh im so tired. i didnt go to school or work yesterday, and i slept ALL day, literally all day. then i woke up and we went to santas enchanted forest with my family. i dont know why im updating, i dont really have anything to say.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

sheesh. i need to use this because i know its cool. hahahaa.