man

me and yut were talking on the phone a bit earlier, he was in a bad mood, not really for any reason in particular but everything irritated him, which i can understand because ive had those days, but it still made me sad because he has anger issues in general and he feels like hes turning into his dad. idk he didnt say "i love you" even after i said it plus pointed it out he didnt say it before, but he then texted me "sorry im just in a horrible mood since i lost my wallet. you know i love you. ill work on my anger issues:(" how can he not be genuine? i dont know, i mean..are there good guys? its so strange because he says he is kind of emotionless, and cold hearted, but then he says things like that and when he wipes away my tears and kisses my cheeks i mean. man, how fucked up would it be if he was a ~playa. hahahaha just kidding. who the fuck even reads this.

i bought these silly things:





(stole these)

much needed makeup bag


and then shoes and a big cardigan dress from UO and....kdjhg something else but idr what!

yut found my twitter and questioned me about it. hope he doesnt find this, hahahaha. although i can make my fucking twitter private, and with this i cant! fuck my life. i guess no personal things in here. i dont know.

about to leave for my birthday lunch with the family.

its so fucking hot in my house.

even though this isnt locked and anyone could stumble upon it, it feels safe. i wish it really was. thoughts get me in trouble it seems.
anyways last night was brilliant. we went to scotts house where garth and mike (and obviously scott) were. i hadnt seen garth in a while, he cut his hair, weird. also mike took out his braids, its a poofy afro, ahah. we spent a little time there, i ate some tacos and we watched tv, then me and yut went to his house so he could give me my bday present (well, part of it. my real present was the necklace) and we were supposed to just go and come back, but we decided to stay there (naturally). we spent the rest of our time together (about..3 hours?) until i had to leave just in his room cuddling or having sexy time~ jdkhf im so happy with him, so so happy. i feel like maybe im breaking down that wall he seems to have, and really gaining his love. he actually said he liked me enough to move in with me, hahaha. hes crazy.

btw, the present was wall-e, because i had been telling him how i had heard it was amazing but had never watched it and was dying to. whenever he comes over next were going to watch it with my fam. so yes, that will be cute.

so after work instead of going to school i am going to take the train to see yut. i have to take the metro rail, then wait for the train which is a 2 hour ride. i honestly dont know if i mind. i dont know if ill have enough time to catch the train, and that scares me. i get out at 5, and the train leaves at 5:57. i know that seems like enough time but i also have to wait for the metro and those times are never certain (hm maybe i should look it up) and the train station is like 20 stops away or something ridiculous like that. the first time i took the train up i did indeed miss it, and it sucked. obviously.
i talk to this guy every tues. and thurs. at school and today when i was sleeping in between school and work i had a dream we kissed! it was so weird.

oh im so tired. i didnt go to school or work yesterday, and i slept ALL day, literally all day. then i woke up and we went to santas enchanted forest with my family. i dont know why im updating, i dont really have anything to say.