im high and im happy

2009-01-12T09:23:00.001-08:00

what.the.fuck.

IM GOING HERE THIS WEEKEND!!!

2009-01-06T13:07:00.001-08:00

*waves*

you know what, i think this is it:)
i started out on this diet (which i started yesterday, btw hahahah long time i know) thinking i would have one or two sodas a day (vs. the 50 million that i usually have) but today i had no soda and im fine. im fine! AND i had school at 7 this morning

there are three reasons i drink soda:
-taste
-caffeine
-withdrawal if i dont

well i was not sreepy, and had no symptoms of withdrawal (which i did have before but which i will fight off now that i have day one down).

also i had a nommy pastelito this am (prob like 493085 cals but idc) and a salad for lunch. oh..and an oatmeal cookie from quiznos rofl so much for good eating. but seriously this diet isnt about all veggies, fasting, or whatever anyone elses diets consist of. mine is: no soda, no junk=candy, chips, popcorn etc. and hm...no ice cream. ill basically just eat whatever i want i mean, if i want a quiznos sub, ill fucking have it! blahblahblhdjg wordswordswords swordssssssssss.

also i wish i could go inside everyones brains and scoop out the negative thoughts/connotations they have associated with or about MDC. get your head out of your ass. its not just a community college anymore, ohhh no, its a ~*~*junior college~*~ and with my AA degree that i will receive from there, i can go to any college that i want (minus harvard, but ONLY because they dont accept transfers).

:)

2009-01-04T15:09:00.000-08:00

just ordered these 3 books with my gc from B&N

shutup lol

and the one i wanted for xmas,

i also have about 6 more on my wishlist, yay books!

2008-12-31T10:38:00.000-08:00

i had a dream about sofi last night. its been so long since that happened. so, so long. i thought they were done. i had forgotten about her for a while...well anyway, the same dream that i always used to have, but better. we put everything behind us, and things were how they used to be. a fresh start. she missed me. i wish that were real. she was the best friend id ever had.

i miss my old life

i miss her

i suck.

2008-12-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

this puppy does not.

go see yes man

2008-12-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

i made a post from my phone on the metro but for some reason it didnt work..im not sure why, something about the amount of characters. im home now though, so here we are. i felt sick/naseous on the way back home from yuts, i feel a little better now, enough to take my brother and sister to the movies, but im still not feeling A+ or anything. when i got home i made myself food and watched family guy, then took a bath which turned into a shower.

i like making plans; the science museum, lion country safari, the seaquarium, an opera. it makes it feel real, it makes me feel good. it feels so fucking good having someone other than my mom care about me (although im greatful for that as well). i mean really care, push me to do things that matter but that i dont care enough about to actually fix them, do them. work, school, money, friends. thank you for caring. thank you for loving me, even with your black heart.

2008-12-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

so i opened up presents from my uncle last night (hes from out of town and came down for an xmas visit)

i got a wireless keyboard + mouse, which at first i was like k wut but its actually awesome, i love how it feels typing on it. except i still have my old keyboard and mouse here so im like trying to push it away and its annoying as shit. obviously.

he also got me one of those new ipods in green:) i feel kind of bad since yut gave me his ipod, which was such a sweet thing to do, but whatever, i hope he doesnt feel bad idk haha. i shouldnt even be thinking about this, who cares? djkhg

uhhhhhhhhh yeah i got an early present from my mom too, which was my phone that stopped working TWICE. hopefully it doesnt stop again.

kewl

xbox is fun

2008-12-23T05:43:00.000-08:00

2008-12-22T09:32:00.001-08:00

so uh a lot of the stuff i wanted from UO is either not in stock or back ordered. some things came back in stock, but when theyre backordered...isnt that final? sighhhhhhh. i dont think my mom bought me aany of the stuff i wanted! (minus drawn to life: spongebob edition which IM REALLY EXCITED FOR and possibly film) im sad. i mean i know i should be greatful than im getting anything at all, but i cant help but be selfish.

2008-12-20T20:43:00.000-08:00

lolllllllllll told you i was gonna get 'em:)

2008-12-16T08:51:00.000-08:00

i left my wallet in denises car last night so now i have no money. well i do have 3 dollars, two of which ill use to take the train somewhere. except it would be nice if ihad FOUR dollars, so i could go somewhere and be able to get back home, or to denise so she can pick me up. maybe i can find four quarters? good news is i have a bunch of pot, so that will keep me occupied until i get to go home.

2008-12-15T08:19:00.000-08:00

ugh ok so i hate making these but my mom said if i dont tell her things i want i dont get anything D: lol

man, these things add up.

2008-12-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

man

me and yut were talking on the phone a bit earlier, he was in a bad mood, not really for any reason in particular but everything irritated him, which i can understand because ive had those days, but it still made me sad because he has anger issues in general and he feels like hes turning into his dad. idk he didnt say "i love you" even after i said it plus pointed it out he didnt say it before, but he then texted me "sorry im just in a horrible mood since i lost my wallet. you know i love you. ill work on my anger issues:(" how can he not be genuine? i dont know, i mean..are there good guys? its so strange because he says he is kind of emotionless, and cold hearted, but then he says things like that and when he wipes away my tears and kisses my cheeks i mean. man, how fucked up would it be if he was a ~playa. hahahaha just kidding. who the fuck even reads this.

2008-12-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

i bought these silly things:

(stole these)

much needed makeup bag

and then shoes and a big cardigan dress from UO and....kdjhg something else but idr what!

2008-12-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

yut found my twitter and questioned me about it. hope he doesnt find this, hahahaha. although i can make my fucking twitter private, and with this i cant! fuck my life. i guess no personal things in here. i dont know.

2008-12-07T11:56:00.000-08:00

about to leave for my birthday lunch with the family.

its so fucking hot in my house.

2008-12-05T13:42:00.001-08:00

even though this isnt locked and anyone could stumble upon it, it feels safe. i wish it really was. thoughts get me in trouble it seems.
anyways last night was brilliant. we went to scotts house where garth and mike (and obviously scott) were. i hadnt seen garth in a while, he cut his hair, weird. also mike took out his braids, its a poofy afro, ahah. we spent a little time there, i ate some tacos and we watched tv, then me and yut went to his house so he could give me my bday present (well, part of it. my real present was the necklace) and we were supposed to just go and come back, but we decided to stay there (naturally). we spent the rest of our time together (about..3 hours?) until i had to leave just in his room cuddling or having sexy time~ jdkhf im so happy with him, so so happy. i feel like maybe im breaking down that wall he seems to have, and really gaining his love. he actually said he liked me enough to move in with me, hahaha. hes crazy.

btw, the present was wall-e, because i had been telling him how i had heard it was amazing but had never watched it and was dying to. whenever he comes over next were going to watch it with my fam. so yes, that will be cute.

2008-12-04T13:00:00.001-08:00

so after work instead of going to school i am going to take the train to see yut. i have to take the metro rail, then wait for the train which is a 2 hour ride. i honestly dont know if i mind. i dont know if ill have enough time to catch the train, and that scares me. i get out at 5, and the train leaves at 5:57. i know that seems like enough time but i also have to wait for the metro and those times are never certain (hm maybe i should look it up) and the train station is like 20 stops away or something ridiculous like that. the first time i took the train up i did indeed miss it, and it sucked. obviously.
i talk to this guy every tues. and thurs. at school and today when i was sleeping in between school and work i had a dream we kissed! it was so weird.

2008-12-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

oh im so tired. i didnt go to school or work yesterday, and i slept ALL day, literally all day. then i woke up and we went to santas enchanted forest with my family. i dont know why im updating, i dont really have anything to say.

2008-11-30T13:12:00.001-08:00

sheesh. i need to use this because i know its cool. hahahaa.